The feeling is hard to define. Is it being perplexed? Confused? Overwhelmed? “Besides myself?” Inadequate?

We’ve all had the feeling at some time in our lives, many of us more than once, or even a lot.

As an example, I met with an acquaintance I’ll call Mary, but that’s not her real name, of course. Mary had accepted a task to organize and conduct a Vacation Bible School (VBS) that proved to be much bigger than she expected. As she learned more about the task, it got bigger and bigger. She expressed her feeling, “I don’t know where to begin. There is so much I don’t know and so much to do!

Sound familiar?

Mary was indeed at her wit’s end.

She had some choices to make.

The easiest, and the one many people choose because it is the easiest, is to refuse to continue, to give up, to quit. Mary’s dilemma was because she understood she was chosen for the task because of her reliability and competence. To refuse to follow through was to admit she lacked those qualities.

Another choice was to beg off due to other responsibilities. Tempting excuses might be “my plate is way too full, my family needs me right now, illness of self or others, and so on. Heard that before?

There are times when circumstances arise where a person can ask to be removed from a situation without loss of face, but this wasn’t the case for Mary. She had all the qualities needed to complete the task assigned.

Mary was going to get a handle on the situation.

Here is what she did.

With the help of some close associates, she realized she was trying to accomplish too many tasks at once. She followed the advice to list out all the tasks she could recognize. (There are always more unseen tasks lurking in the background, waiting for the chance to confuse things.)

Then, as she began to prioritize them, she could see a “battle plan” taking shape.

She was getting the overwhelming task into bite-size chunks that she could handle easily. You and I know that I’ve made it sound much easier than it is. But simply stated, Mary reworked the problem into a manageable situation that was much less stressful and that she was confident she could fulfill her responsibility.

She exhibited three attributes that would see her be successful:

1. Recognition. She knew she had a problem, in fact many problems. The alligators were escaping the swamp. She understood she could not handle things by herself.

2. Determination. She was not going to quit. She was going to “see this through.” She was going to learn from this experience and be a more skillful, competent person as a result.

3. Acceptance. This factor is crucial. She was open to suggestions and ideas. She accepted her situation and was actively seeking assistance. She was asking for help, researching possible solutions, finding people who had faced similar experiences. Mary refused to be stuck in the mentality of a three-year-old, “Leave me alone, I can do it myself.”

“Pride prohibits peak performance. The time to be proud is when the task is done well.” Warren Jaycox

The next time you are at your “wit’s end” remember these three things. They may make a difference and be helpful to you.

You also might find help in previous or future blogs on this site.

Next week: When Things Go Wrong